It’s gloomy and rainy today here in SoCal. Normally, I love gloomy and rainy days! They put me in the best mood because they remind me of home and lately, I’ve been homesick. Something I never thought I’d say. Never say Never!
Today I woke up cranky and just not feeling like my best self which was honestly foreshadowing for this mornings events. I’ve been over worked and haven’t had a day off in 13 days. I know some of you work longer hours at harder jobs than I do and kuddos to you! I’m just not made that way. I get physically ill and start acting like a baby. It’s not good for anyone…
This morning I came into work and immediately get pulled into the office. “We’re letting you go.” At first I laughed because I laugh when I’m uncomfortable, nervous, confused or honestly when people take things too seriously. I said okay, shook hands, and left.
This is a small part of the story I’m about to tell you. I’m about to spill my guts. Are you ready?
I read the book The Alchemist, which I’ve heard is life-changing. I’m all into spiritual books and raising your level of awareness so I read it with an open heart and open mind and really tried to learn something about myself. For those of you who don’t know, the book is basically about life’s journey. It’s about finding your Personal Legend and sometimes going down the wrong path to find the right one; All the while it brings you the place you never knew you needed, to find the person you never knew you needed. Every step and wrong turn was worth it because it brought you to your true love.
Sometimes I feel like I don’t live in this world. I’m an old soul who doesn’t fit in. I feel like the feelings and theories I have far exceed this realm of reality. I crave a love so deep that it defies time, reality, and takes you to another dimension. Your souls will always find each other- no matter what shape or form of reality, you always find each other. And maybe that in itself is irrational. Maybe a love like that doesn’t exist, but just like the boy who sets out on a journey to find treasure to impress the merchants daughter and later realizes his destiny when he meets the one his soul desires,Fatima, I’ll take my chances.
It’s the most relatable story because we’ve all chased someone unattainable. We’ve all been stuck at that dead end job we can’t get out of. We’ve all lost sight of our own dreams because life gets in the way. We’ve all settled because we get lonely. And we’ve all been fired to become our own Oprah.
Sometimes you need to move across the country so you can breathe. Maybe it leads to back to the place you started. Maybe moving to Los Angeles wasn’t about finding the right people, maybe it was about finding myself. I feel so strongly in my fight for personal happiness, I could never waiver again. Quit dumbing yourself down for other people. Those are not your people.
You are not the opinions of someone who doesn’t know you. Just because one boss doesn’t think you’re a good employee at a mediocre restaurant, doesn’t mean you don’t have good worth ethic. Just because you don’t get picked for the team doesn’t mean you aren’t good at the sport. Just because you audition and don’t get the part doesn’t mean you aren’t good at your craft. And just because one person doesn’t see your heart doesn’t mean you don’t deserve love.
Sometimes when the dream is so close to being achieved we tend to run. I am SO close to mine, it’s terrifying. What happens if I actually achieve everything I say I’m going to do? What will I have to work for? Will I like the life I’ve chosen or will it be a figment of my imagination? It’s important to have faith and more importantly to have faith in ourselves. It’s important to set new goals and constantly work towards something. I don’t really care that I was fired. It sucks, and it’s a bruise to the ego…and embarrassing…but it doesn’t define me as a person. Some people are perfectly happy living a mediocre life, I am not one of those people. It was a blessing in disguise.
Sunshine comes to all of those who feel rain.