“Nobody dates in LA.” “Everyone is self-consumed.” “You’re going to be single for a very long time-get use to it.”
Those were actual statements that have been said to me in the past and for an old soul like me, it hurt. The words cut deeper every time and eventually I just became a little cold and bitter. I accepted the fact that maybe it wasn’t in the cards for me to be with someone right now….and I had no idea how long right now would last. Don’t get me wrong- I am very content and happy with my life. A relationship doesn’t define me. Sure, I was lonely at times and think about sharing moments with someone, but I couldn’t settle for just anyone. I’ve grown too much and worked too hard on myself to give up my freedom for something that may not last. I’m a long-term girl. I don’t like flings and don’t let people into my life that don’t have any commitment to me. They don’t deserve me. They don’t deserve to get to know me. I knew what I wanted- so I waited.
And finally, out of no where, all of a sudden there he was. To say this was a love a first sight moment is unfortunately not the case. Although, our story did start out pretty bizarre…
It was the middle of June and I just got back from my interview with Fergie. Yeah, THAT FERGIE! I was feeling so confident because I really nailed my interview. She was so sweet and I wasn’t nervous at all. I was preparing myself for the past two days and made the first round of interviews to be her personal assistant, then had to interview with Fergie, herself, the next day. I was like, “Why am I so calm?” I thought for sure when I saw her I would maybe get some butterflies, but nope! I was super professional and let my personality shine through. She read every single detail on my resume and it brought back memories of her dancing, performing at the HLSR with the Black Eyed Peas, auditioning when she was younger, and basically how The E.N.D. was my prom 2009 group’s anthem all weekend. Her exact words were, “Wow your resume is very impressive. You might be a little over qualified.” over qualified?! OVER QUALIFIED?! No no no no no I most certainly am not above picking up dog shit and making shakes! You know when you have crappy jobs, but you have to beef your resume up to make it sound like you actually know what the f*ck you’re doing? That was me. Except this was the first time ever that it had backfired. I left the interview feeling confident and that I really might have gotten the job. I mean helloooooo, she said she loved me after all! I gave her a hug as I walked out the door because it felt natural and I immediately thought, “Oh shit… was I allowed to touch Fergie? Oh well.” Look guys, celebs are just like us and I think that’s why I don’t get star struck. She gave the job to her current assistants recommendation and I kind of figured that would happen. I feel incredibly blessed to have had the opportunity to even be considered and for her to take the time out of her rehearsal schedule to meet ME. How many people can say that in six months of living in a new city and not knowing a single soul that they get to sit and chat with Fergie? Not many. Everything worked out of course. Shortly after, I got a new job at a talent agency and am liking it so far.
So, It was my friend Drake Bell’s birthday party and I was definitely in the mood to celebrate because at this point I thought I got the job. (Womp, womp). We went to Cicada Restaurant for dinner and a magic show and hell must’ve froze over because I got there extremely early. An hour early as a matter of fact. I was sitting all by my lonesome at an eight top table and in walks this guy in all black and a t-shirt-looking like he didn’t gaf. I immediately thought oh no if this guy is at my table am I over dressed?! Then I looked around and realized I definitely wasn’t. Whew! He looked a little lost and I turned around and said, “Are you here too?” He laughed, sat down and bought me a drink. We joked all night about how our friends set us up on a blind date because they were an hour and a half late, so basically we were. The night came to a close and I enjoyed our jokes but I dipped out because I was literally so exhausted from preparing for Fergie. A few days later he hunted me down and called me to take me out to dinner. “Anything you want, I’m taking you out!” I couldn’t remember the last time someone said that to me in the past two and a half years. I know that sounds so dumb but I seriously couldn’t! I told him I wasn’t that girl but I’m really craving a steak. Look, ya girl loves steak but the bank account don’t. Gotta get it while the gettin good, OHHHKAAAAYYYY?! He said he knew this great place in Burbank, CA so we set a date and I went.
I didn’t try. I wasn’t wearing makeup. I wasn’t that excited. And was still bummed it had been three days and I hadn’t heard back from Fergie. This had NOTHING to do with Lee, (That’s his name btw), but everything to do with me and my sulking about not hearing back from her. I got lost in conversation with him. He reassured me that there’s something special in the fact that I had an interview. Who knows, maybe he was right or maybe he was just trying to make me feel better. It helped; He’s older, established, successful, and the most talented person I know. He’s an amazing singer, writer, music producer and I admire his passion for music. Our twelve year age gap doesn’t bother me, though. I need someone who is wise and has their ducks in a row. I remember calling my mom a few months ago (random/weird/long story) telling her I just want someone who gets “it.” “I want someone who understands the artist side, someone who is passionate, active, driven; who has goals- who is a doer.” That’s exactly what I get with Lee. We support each other and push each other to be better.
We finished our meal at this place which was basically a step about Cracker Barrel and he made fun of my barely eaten steak. “You know, I remember coming here ten years ago…” “When you were twenty-five and broke?” I jokingly interjected. “…yeah, but I remember going to a Christmas party here and there were waiters in tuxedos walking around with wine.” he laughed. I looked around thinking either a lot has changed or your memories are misconstrued. We took a walk and kept talking. I stopped caring about whether I got the Fergie job or not and enjoyed conversation I had been lacking and so desperately wanted/needed. Time flew by and before I knew I was getting dropped off back at my place. I didn’t know if I would see him again because I don’t usually get past first dates. Either I don’t feel a connection or the other person doesn’t (but mostly me) so I cut them off. Lee was different. I laid in my bed and remembered how it felt to have feelings for someone. He slowly awakened things I had been trying to suppress for the past couple of years. Ew feelings?! what is that?! Omg, butterflies?? NO. I tried to stop myself before I got too deep. I didn’t text or call him and figured if he wanted to see me HE will call ME. We hung out four times after that and just talked. I knew I liked him when I didn’t hook up with him and we had been hanging out for a month. After the 4th of July we were pretty much inseparable. I didn’t want to bring up harsh conversation or DTR too soon, because honestly I felt his energy and knew he would do it when he was ready.
One night I was getting antsy and didn’t really know for sure if we were going anywhere. Do I stay in limbo and wait? How much more time does he need? What if I’ve misread all these signals and he’s not into me….These were all the thoughts running through my head.
I’m a young, hot, smart, mature-beyond-my-years woman and I’m not going to be that girl that sits around and waits for a guy. Nu-uh. Nope. Not happening. So I did what any girl I think would do….test number 1. I texted him and asked what he was doing. He said nothing so basically I booty-called myself!
I walked in and immediately regretted it. “Oh shit, what I have I done. How do I get out of this….I have to text Emily to call me in 5 with an emergency..” Well I put my big girls panties on…or took them off rather, and it was amazing. All of the conversations, all of the emotions, all of the built up tension was laid out in front of me. It was truly amazing…AND THEN….the most awkward thing happened…..
I hear keys jingling in the door. I start freaking out and think that we’re getting robbed! But do people get robbed in Beverly Hills on the 5th floor? Probably not but YOU NEVER KNOW! I was terrified. I hear someone in heels walking down the hall. Everything is happening so fast I don’t know what to do so I hide under the covers and wait for it to be clear. In walks his ex (I’m gonna say girlfriend) and she says, “Is this a thing?” You know what- I’m going to write out the script for you:
*ENTER CRAZY EX GF, wearing blue dress and heels. drunk*
CEX-GF: “Is this a thing”
L: “Uh what are you doing here [REDACTED] ??????!!!!”
R: *hiding under the sheets naked*
CEX-GF: “I was in the area at an art show and I saw this piece that you would like so I came to tell you about it.” *Crosses room stage left. Sits on bed*
L: “It’s 12:30 am you need to get out of my house! You just barged in unannounced”
CEX-GF: “Can she leave. This is so awkward for her. Why is she even here?”
R: *What the fuck is going on*
EXIT- CRAZY EX-GF
Pure and utter shock. I was so confused. I was like, “yeeeeeeeeah I gotta go….” I’ve heard stories from his friends about how psychotic she is and how she stalks Lee but that is on a whole new level of crazy! And also…why did she have your keys?!!? Clearly there was more history than he was leading on but we talked about it and he knew how violated I felt. I don’t want you to get the wrong idea-He’s definitely a great guy. He just had some loose ends to tie up and hey, who am I to judge because I was in that exact situation a few months ago.
So this is how our story began. It’s already been full of ups and downs and we literally can not get enough of each other. He was so worth the 2 and a half year wait. I couldn’t imagine being with anyone else right now because I would just be settling. Ladies, if you’re getting worried that you won’t find love, or you’re stuck in a rut, or think that no one likes you: stop looking. Work on yourself. Cut the people out of your life that make you feel like you’re less and don’t look back. Wait for the one that is willing to do everything for you and go above and beyond to see you smile.